the world is not fair

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 “the world is not fair”, “this is not fair”, …

We heard these kind of claims many times. They are true for sure. Why are people frustrated about it when we should try to accept it? We are going to suffer more if we try to fight against it. Hence, the wise way to deal with it is to accept it and figure out how to alleviate the situations.

There are people who do not shoes, and we have people who have too many pairs of shoes. There are people who have little to wear, and we have people who packed and stored their clothings in boxes. Some parents have disabled children, and lucky ones has healthy children. Some people are smarter than others. People in some countries have access and equal opportunities to education, and many do not. The COVID19 pandemic statistic clearly shows that there are health disparities, example Why People of Color Are Suffering More from COVID-19 and Bill Gates Urges U.S. to Help Poorer Countries Get Vaccines. And, the recent explosion in Beirut has shocked the world. (Donations are flowing into the country now, please help if you can).

There are many famous people who have overcame hardships. Michael Phelps, the most decorated olympian who has a difficult childhood. J. K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone which is one of the best-selling individual books in history. She wrote this book during her difficult times. There is a long list of people who become successful against all odds, people like Oprah Winfrey, Larry Ellison, and  Ritesh Agarwal.

Now, many of us are not aiming to be famous nor be billionaires, and we just want to live a meaningful and good life. Can it be hard to achieve this? Below are some of my observations of people who have better life.

1. They do not complain. They do things without complaining or arguing. Tasks can be as simple as helping to wash the dishes after dinner or complicate ones. Actually, I am surprised that some people complain before taking on tasks. Why do we have to complain when we already know that we need to do them anyway? Is it a kind of a habit?
2. They are consistent. Once they have committed to something, they deliver results consistently. No matter how busy they are, they manage to find time to make things happen. The commitment can be as simple as Stay Health, and I need to exercise 3-4 times a week for an hour, or we have broken a complex task to 10 small pieces and we complete each piece on a daily basis.
3. They are active listeners. They listen well and absorb the essences of the conversations/discussions/presentations. They figure out what are the important meetings to attend, and they are 100% tuned into the meetings. I have seen people who have attended many meetings and learned nothing from them.
4. They are involved and hand-ons. There is a Chinese idiom, 纸上谈兵 which translates to armchair strategy. It is about a talented Chinese general who lost a battle because he is a scholar and no experience in fighting wars. In this ever-changing world, we must be hand-ons (work along with others) in order to gain more experience and new knowledge in order to execute well.
5. They plan and prioritize. When all things are important and urgent, they are good at planning and prioritizing tasks. They also avoid multitasking if possible.
6. They have the Why-How-What mindset. They (truly and deeply) understand the purposes of doing something, figure out how they are going to do it, and what they are doing. They constantly revisit the Why and Hows as they are executing. They understand constraints, limitations and the opportunities in front of them. Unfortunately, I had witness programmers who ran a piece of code that were given to them, and claimed that “It works” without digging deeper into the details.
7. They are focussed. With the different sources of distractions (mobile messages, tik-tok, social media, etc), they are very focussed on tasks in hands.
8. They are lifelong learner. Another Chinese idiom, 活到老，学到老 which translates to “Live until you’re old; learn until you’re old”. I believe this is self explanatory. In fact, many countries and companies are promoting continuous learning and re-skilling. I have also written a blog on this topic recently.
9. They are humble. They are honest with what they know, and they seek answers for what they do not know. I was fortunate to report to a boss who is confident and humble at the same time. His technical skills and knowledge are probably 10x above mine, and he was constantly asking, “Dennis, I got what you are saying and how do you do this?”.
10. They have good time management skills. Some people waste time on unnecessary things such as attending unnecessary meetings, having last words in arguments, spending too much time on social media, trying to multitask, etc.
11. They have good social skills. They are able to connect with people at different levels, and maintain a healthy network. This provides them the ability to reach out to people to get opinions, feedback, assistance, etc.
12. They are optimist. They find opportunities in almost all situations. They are able to create opportunities and have great foresight.
13. They believe in knowledge sharing. They spend extra effort in making sure that knowledge is shared via presentations, code snippet, technical documents, article, gist, etc. In return they receive feedbacks and they cultivate a nice collective learning environment.
14. They take time to breathe. They reflect on what are happening around them, analyze, and learn. Sometimes, we forget to breathe in our hectic life, and stress builds up over time. They breathe and stay calm in most situations. And, decide what is good for others and for themselves before acting.
15. They stay healthy. They eat healthily, exercise regularly and sleep well.
16. They are conscientious. They do not let their emotions affect their decisions.
17. They are good team players. They understand that they must collaborate with others to achieve big goals. And, these people are usually magnets for big tasks.
18. They are resilient. There are obstacles in life. They learn to pick themselves up and keep going.

The world is not fair, and we must learn to make do with what we have, and focus on the positive aspect of things. It is easy to found people who are less fortunate than us. You are most likely educated if you are able to read this blog :-). There are many people who are illiterate. I think it is good to be aware of our surroundings, observe some good habits and traits, and learn to a good life. Last but not least, within our capacity, we help other people to have better lives too.